Yes Virginia, there is an Osama Clause

Virginia, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the fatuousness of a fatuous age. They believe what they hear. They believe only which is on the Web. All egos, Virginia, whether they be men’s or children’s, are huge. In this great universe of ours, man is a giant, a whale in his intellect as compared with the carbonating world about him, as measured by the intelligence agencies capable of knowing where it’s really at.

Yes, Virginia, Osama may be dead, but there is still the Osama Clause. It exists as certainly as fear and paranoia and control exist, and you know that they abound and give to your nation its fat private banks and depleted public coffers and intrusive airport scrutiny. Yikes! how insouciant would be the world if there were no Osama Clause! It would be as silly and hippy-dippy as if there were no Arby’s and Jack-In-The-Boxes. There would be childlike faith, poetry, romance to make, like, totally groovy this existence. We should have enjoyment, especially in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be lighted well until our Social Security kicks in. Get real, Virginia!

Not believe in the Osama Clause! You might as well not believe in Homeland Security. Our people hired men to comb all Pakistan to nail Osama, but even so, the Osama Clause still permits waterboarding your little friend Faisel’s papa, do what’s the whup? Nobody sees the Osama Clause, but that is no sign that there is no Osama Clause. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor human rights organizations can prevent. Did you ever see gay people dancing on The O’Reilly Factor? Of course not, but that’s no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world until they are yanking off one of your fingernails with pliers in a quiet little house in Cuba.

You tear apart the Muslim’s ribcage and see what makes the urge to kill, kill, kill Americans inside, but there is a veil covering the terrorist world, which not the strongest CIA or FBI Director, nor even the united strength of all our Drones that ever flew could tear apart. Only hate, jingoism, Special Ops and Predators can for a moment push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal gore beyond. Is it all real? Ah, Virginia, in all this world there is nothing else more real and abiding and worthy of bankrupting our nation and scaring its people.

No Osama Clause! Thank God! it lives and lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay 10 times 10,000 years from now, it will continue to make glad the heart of control freaks.