Ode To Hugh Reynolds

This opinion piece appeared in the Townsman, June 5 edition

Some have said imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, and to honor Hugh Reynolds, former political columnist for a countywide publication, I will fall all over myself in an attempted simulation of his inimitable style.

At the Democratic Party convention held at the Hillside Manor in Kingston on June 2nd I ran into a number of former town supervisors, including Phil Terpening of Rosendale, Ray Rice of Esopus, Mike Shultis of Hurley and James Dollaway of Warwarsing. I discovered that there is a name for a band of former town supervisors: the glee club. It is always polite to say, “Gosh, you never looked better,” but in the case of this reunion the words completely lacked hypocrisy.

Wow, talk about pay back. Dietrich Werner, Ulster County’s Independence Party poo bah, has steered his party’s endorsements toward Republican Party candidates for many if not all of the upcoming county races. Word has it that Werner got miffed when the Democratic legislature didn’t like what they saw in the Environmental Management Council and sacked the principals, including Independence Party faves. Ouch! I thought, “all politics is local,” not “all politics is ego.”

Robin Yess, report to the information desk. You are running for New York State Assembly against Kevin Cahill and nobody has any idea who you are. Bring photo ID.

Wow, what an election cycle can change. Seems like just yesterday when Ulster County legislator and former New Paltz supervisor Sue Zimet was cooing with gubernatorial candidate Eliot Spitzer in television ads in her bid to unseat state senator John Bonacic. Today Ulster County Democrats can’t come up with even a former dogcatcher to take on the long time incumbent. Calling Orange County; got somebody? Anybody? Please, no one with pix of him or her cooing with Eliot. Creepy.

Let’s give a big hand of applause to Ulster County legislature chairman Dave Donaldson and Ellenville village manager Elliot Auerbach for staging the only competition at the convention. The buffet would have disappeared in a minute if the delegates didn’t have to put down their forks and vote. Hint to both: shorter speeches, pleeeze. Congrats to Auerbach for getting the nod. Suggested campaign promise; change the title from “comptroller” to “controller.” It’s been done in other places, and frankly “comp” and elective office should stay miles apart.

Message to Michael Hein: Get out of politics and into show business. It’s guys like you that make fat, old buzzards like me sick. So does Assemblyman Marc Molinaro. Every Kennedy. Gee whiz, youth, looks and brains and now you want power? Is there a God, I ask?

County executive Republican candidate Len Bernardo: see message above to Robin Yess.

Ditto county comptroller Republican candidate James Quigley.

Not that I expected to bump into either one of you in this environment.

Woodstockers have accepted, or at least gotten used to councilman Jay Wenk refusing to stand during the pledge of allegiance, but what are they going to say when they find out he sat down through the standing ovation for congressman Maurice Hinchey? I know Jay got his nose out of joint when Hinchey wouldn’t ride in the impeach president George Bush cavalcade. Maybe councilwoman Liz Simonson feels the same way. It’s not like either one of them had a tray of food on their lap.

Is it just me, or does Kingston mayor Jim Sottile always dress like he’s about to do a Saturday Night Live skit? At least when he’s away from the office he does. Just a little discombobulating considering this is the guy with a reputation for carrying brass knuckles into the Kingston Common Council chamber.

For a guy with the knives out for him, Ulster County Democratic Party Chairman John Parete couldn’t be more chipper. People who think it’s the proper thing to demonize the chairman should actually meet him. Then they might understand how the county’s Democratic conventions grew from get-togethers you could fit into a Prius into the massive, guzzling event this one was. The September primary ought to be interesting, to say the least. Bring gauze.

Finally, what we’ve all been waiting for: the South Dakota and Montana primaries. Until this year I thought South Dakota and Montana were parts of Canada. With any luck the Democratic Party’s convention in Denver won’t know who it’s presidential candidate will be until the Wyoming (or is Wyoming part of Canada?) delegation casts its vote. Isn’t it just a little weird that the contest for the land’s highest office starts in Iowa cornfields and ends in South Dakota wheat fields? I know New York had a primary, shucks I voted in it, but for the life of me I can’t remember who won it. But this I know; Barack Obama carried Iowa, and Hillary Clinton carried South Dakota. It’s forever printed in my brain. Weird.

Okay, so now I got Hugh Reynolds laughing his head off. Hey, I tried.

To those of you who miss Hugh I predict he’ll be back on the scene soon. Damn it.