Fuss Budget

This opinion piece appeared in the Townsman, November 13 edition

This is now the eleventh annual town budget to include the participation of councilwoman Liz Simonson, and those of us attune to the goings on of the Woodstock town board find ourselves wishing for the sound of a stuck record instead of her flustering and blustering and posturing and flummoxing, which describe her annual dance for the benefit of taxpayers who pay her in excess of $8000 plus a generous health plan, and who seem to be completely satisfied by the performance. F Scott Fitzgerald got it wrong; there are second acts in America, and in Simonson's case third, fourth, fifth, sixth… you get the picture.

Every year it's the same tune, sung in that the-world-is-ending frantic staccato, but always with the same lyrics; "outside the box," "a new matrix," "lack of professionalism [on the part of others]," "this is a poor way [for others] to make a decision," and then the old standby, "when I worked in management in Penny's…"

The tune has been sung through two years of Tracy Kellogg's administration, eight years of mine, and now, like an ABBA song, it warbles into the Moran administration.

And like an ABBA song, it is awful, static, devoid of calories, predictable, but it's got that THUMP THUMP THUMP one simply cannot get out of their mind once it has insinuated itself in.

At the Monday meeting to discuss the proposed 2009 budget Simonson greeted the board with the declaration that she had been "too busy" to advance for discussion any ideas for lowering the proposed 8.5% tax increase, but that didn't mean she didn't come prepared with last minute policy changes that could not possibly be effected in time to make any difference to the 2009 levy. This is not to suggest that the proposals in themselves were inane - increasing co-pays in order to lower health insurance premiums is a serious proposal - but it involves engaging two unions in a negotiation and the rest of the Town's employees in a courtesy discussion. But it was a nice move; anyone looking from the outside would have to think, "my goodness, what a thoughtful councilwoman that Simonson is." They forget she had ALL YEAR to work this proposal.

Is she saying she didn't know until now that sales tax and mortgage tax receipts were nose-diving? You, gentle reader, have known this since last summer when I reported in this space that revenues were drying up, and that unless there was some serious tinkering the property tax was going to hike. Perhaps Simonson doesn't read my column, but how else to explain the so un-ABBA like looks I get from her? Anyway, if I knew, and you knew, it's hard to believe she didn't, unless, of course, she was "too busy" to read the monthly revenue reports that showed receipts practically falling off the page.

But the Monday meeting was a splendid performance nonetheless. She managed to insult councilman Chris Collins ("You don't understand how to make a decision [regarding the budget]") and she got poor Jay Wenk twisted in a pas de deux that had him say on the one hand the two-man water/sewer departments should have four employees, but on the other hand vote against the proposal to raise the staff from two to three. ABBA music does this to people.

Last year Simonson NEVER EVEN SHOWED UP at the public hearing ("too busy" perhaps) for the 2008 budget.

Three years ago she voted against the budget because it was "too high." She had made not one proposal to decrease the budget. It was "too high," and that was all there was to it. As a courtesy, I persuaded the board to rescind our resolution adopting the budget, and voted on it again. This time the board, including me, voted it down. It meant that the '06 budget would revert to the tentative budget, which in this case, again because Simonson came with no proposal to amend it, was identical to the budget we had voted down. I still hear the screech of a needle scratching across an ABBA record.

Ah well, the voters love her, evidently.

* * *

You know we are in for a rough patch when councilman Jay Wenk revives dreams of the Square Inch Project, which he shared at the Monday budget meeting.

For those who don't remember Wenk's first term on the board (1990-1993), it was a time when the town board came thisclose to completely destroying the finances of the hamlet sewer district, barely averted by the Herculean effort of supervisor John Mower (1992-1995). Prior to Mower's term as supervisor the charming idea of selling square inches of Woodstock to the world clamoring for a piece of us was advanced. Proceeds, you see, would fatten the starved sewer coffers. The town board members at the time, Wenk included, almost got out of their chairs in pagan revelry at the idea. Sad to say, it then would be discovered that subdividing a piece of Woodstock into square inches was a violation of the zoning law ("undersized lots" are prohibited). Technicalities involving property tax law also intruded on the party. At last it settled into the chincy idea of creating fancy, fake certificates that pretended in elaborate prose that the bearer of such had claim to a square inch of Woodstock. A private entrepreneur grabbed hold of the project. Ten or twelve dollars eventually dribbled into the sewer coffers.

I've got a better idea for Wenk; get the Committee For Woodstock's Future involved. There's at least a thousand bucks in that little honey pot. He should know.

* * *

That's not thunder, that's the sound of some shopkeepers grumbling about the Farm Festival that ran from May to September of this year. Otherwise known as the Farmers' Market, it was initially conceived as a win-win for everybody (except Sun Frost, Sun Flower, Gallo's and the Woodstock Meat Market); farmers would have a place to vend fresh produce (and candles, it appears), people from everywhere would flock to Woodstock to buy the fresh produce, and these same people would then flock to the shops along the main street and buy their products. The town board accommodated this grand vision by closing Maple Lane on Wednesday evenings and posting a police officer at the intersection.

It all seemed to go very well (except for Sun Frost, Sun Flower, Gallo's and the Woodstock Meat Market). Crowds attended, music played and burgers were flipped on an open grill. It is believed that produce and candles were sold.

Unfortunately, nobody shops at the shops. Worse, the people coming to the Market clog the parking lots so that people who want to shop at the shops can't. Oy.